Kiss, Kiss And Bang, Bang
by Timonx3
Summary: They acted like more-than-just-friends, but Blaine insisted they stay in the just-friends-area. It was quite silly.


**AN**: Here I go again! What, study? Deadlines? Damned resolutions and reports and essays to write?

**Warning**: none, really. Spoilers for BIOTA. More-than-just-implied-boy-loves-boy. _I do not have a beta and I did not use any form of autocorrect_; all the mistakes and typos are my own. Not reread enough times and probably... all over the place. Sort of. Yeah.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Glee.

* * *

Kurt wasn't feeling great.

Actually, ever since Rachel's party, he'd been feeling pretty awful. Not only because Puck had totally spilled his drink all over Finn's shirt - _seriously_, and not in a hey-sexy-wanna-head-out?-kind of way - Finn had yet to pick it up from the bathroom floor and Kurt made a point of not doing Finn's laundry for him. No, Kurt felt awful because _one kiss_ had apparently been enough for Blaine - proud, smart, confident Blaine - to start secondguessing his sexuality.

One kiss.

Kurt was in love with Blaine. It was not hero-worship and it wasn't because Blaine was the first out-and-proud-of-it gay guy he'd ever met; it was actually real. Painfully real, and honestly, if Kurt could un-fall in love with him, he probably would. Sometimes he wished he could.

He knew he was really in love with Blaine, since he's s_till freaking in love_ even after Blaine's hurt him a couple of times. Leading Kurt on was the first thing, shoving his crush in Kurt's face and making him _help serenade another guy_ was another - Kurt was over that, though. It hadn't been intentional and Kurt had genuinely wanted to help his friend out.

Of course, stealing glances and sending charming smiles to Kurt while singing "Silly Love Songs" at Breadstix, was still leading Kurt on. Despite their talk, Blaine still kept his flirtarious behavior and tactile tendencies up, but at least Kurt knew better than to read into it now.

Then the kiss with Rachel at the party; it would have been enough with a quick peck on the lips, but no, they had to start up a make out session right in front of Kurt, even when they both knew that Kurt was in love with Blaine. But again, Kurt was over it, it was fine. It was a game, they were drunk and it was over quickly.

Or so Kurt thought.

Then Rachel had to ask Blaine out _and Blaine said yes_. He was curious, sure, and wanted to experiment - Kurt got that. He still knew that Blaine was one hundred percent gay, even when Blaine himself wasn't so sure, but he let them have a go at it. The worst part about that was the fact that Rachel did it at all, that Blaine took offence right away when the bisexuality issue was brought up and proceeded to claim that Kurt was like Karofsky. That was... a part of why he felt so awful.

Still, whether he liked it or not, Kurt was still hopelessly in love with Blaine. He still swooned when Blaine sang, his knees still turned to jelly when Blaine smiled blindingly at him, his heart still tried to beat its way out of his chest when Blaine held his hand or slung an arm around his shoulders. But even when his heart soared and his face felt like it could split in two from all the smiling, being so hopelessly in love _hurt_. It hurt because Blaine didn't love him back, at least not in the same way that Kurt loved him.

It hurt because it made Kurt feel like he could never get it quite right, wasn't quite enough, and whatever happened, the blame would always somehow land on him. It hurt because Rachel said that well, nobody cares about you, buddy, and it really felt like she was right about that. It felt like he was meant to remain just-friends with everyone - well, those who were friends with him and weren't afraid of the oh-so-strange-queerness in him - forever and while that was great, to have friends that cared for him as much as he knew they did (they were a little ignorant sometimes, a little oblivious and a lot gossip-y, but he knew for a fact that they loved him), there was still a part of him that was desperately _lonely_.

Until he met Blaine. Blaine fixed everything, made it alright, even if he gave bad advice and was a total dork and had more flaws than Kurt had skin and hair products _combined_. Blaine filled that desperately-lonely part of him with warmth and hope, even if that sounded terribly cheesy. Made Kurt tumble and fall and crash-land in somewhere-far-beyond-the-rainbow-love-land.

Kurt loved Blaine as a just-friend too. He was awesome and they had chemistry; it just _clicked_ for them. Even if they never got together, that would be fine, because they were the bestest of best friends (Mercedes was fabulous and great, too, but it wasn't the same thing). Still, Kurt sort of felt like... like... _he shot me down - bang, bang_ right after the _kiss, kiss_ part. Like it had all been rainbows and puppies and roses, and then that was shot down. He was shot down.

Kurt held out on hope though, whether he liked it or not. If he thought he had it bad for Finn, and that short disaster-crush on Sam, it was _nothing_ compared to the crashing, crushing wave of feelings he had for Blaine. It certainly didn't help that he caught Blaine staring at him sometimes, with a nameless, deep look in his eyes that spoke of _something_, and it didn't help that Kurt had overheard Thad and David betting on when he and Blaine would "_finally _get together", seen Nick shake his head whenever Blaine failed reach out when Kurt was gazing at him with his heart practically painted on his face, and accidentally walked in on Wes trying to give Blane The Talk because apparently he thought that was why they weren't dating yet.

All that sort of proved that Kurt hadn't made everything up in his head and there were other people - objective, not-inside-his-head-people - who had seen it too. Only Blaine hadn't. Because Blaine went and got drunk and kissed Rachel _Unfabulous _Berry and started to question himself and shut Kurt out and compared him to a bully and refused to listen when _Kurt had the answers_. It was frustrating.

There was really nothing anyone could do, though, not until Blaine got his head out of his fine backside - totally Jeff's words, by the way. Not even strong, firm Mercedes could speed up the process, and BFG-Finn couldn't attempt-to-threaten-in-the-name-of-bros Blaine into realizing that half of the things he and Kurt did, how they acted, were not how just-friends did it. They acted like more-than-just-friends, but Blaine insisted they stay in the just-friends area. It was quite silly.

But not even Quinn's "You deserve better, Kurt, honeybunch"-talks and the will of the Fearsome Brittana Monster for him to remain single and with them forever, could deter Kurt at this point. Really, all he could do was patiently wait for Blaine to find himself and follow the Yellow Brick Road out of the just-friends-forest.

And he would wait, even if it took a while and even if Blaine made him feel pretty awful sometimes, because in the end, Blaine could make Kurt feel pretty above-the-clouds and happy, too.


End file.
